When Expectations Don’t Meet Our Reality
Our family is spending 2 weeks in Colorado Springs with family and we are so happy to be here. Gavin went to school here and has very dear friends that still live here and attend the same church. A few years back, my in-laws moved here also so visiting here feels like a homecoming. I spent summers in Colorado Springs in High School and College so we both feel very at home visiting the area and introducing them to a place that is very special to us. As an aside, we actually honeymooned here also!
Planning an extended trip with 8 people including a baby is no small feat and probably a post in itself. This summer we paused our usual activities and decided to check off some boxes that we have wanted to do as a family while the kids are still young. At the beginning of the year Gavin and I talked through the summer and what goals we had for the time we had for the summer months and I promptly began making plans.
The heart of man plans his way,
PRoverbs 16:9
but the Lord establishes his steps.
As the time got closer, I could feel a tug on the grip I had on my plans. Gavin had a work trip that cut in to our roadtrip. Unexpected things disrupted my plans for day trips Memorial Day. In the midst of my plans, children needed to be tended to, home projects needed to be completed. Things kept creeping in and I could tell that I had a decision to make. 1.)Dig in my heels and make sure my fun, well ordered summer plans were executed as planned. Knowing my heart would be a mess 2.) Back off and loosen the grip on my plans and keep watch over my heart. Digging in my heels and keeping watch over my heart can’t happen at the same time. One will be on the throne. Consider with me 3 ways my expectations haven’t been met and how I purpose to respond in a God honoring way.
Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
Proverbs 4:23
1. Plans Change
SITUATION: After our initial conversation we were planning to go on an extended national park visiting roadtrip of the southern states to view so many stops along the way. I personally like driving and an old-fashioned, tech free roadtrip is good for the soul, am I right?! After I talked to friends, followed blogs and highlighted maps, Gavin told me that he needed to be on a trip that started the day we were supposed to leave and return 5 days later. This hacked off a third of the trip. Hmmm. Well important things are worth fighting for so I offered the solution of driving myself and the kids halfway across the country and Gavin could just meet us in Denver… Well that completely changes the point of a family trip doesn’t it? We could just drive quickly on our normal route, which would eliminate the ability for us to be at church like we planned.
RESPONSE: I had a decision to make, dig in my heels or let it go. Make Gavin feel bad about the change or be flexible. Ultimately a trip of any kind is a blessing and privilege we have not always afforded. Asking myself the question, “Do I believe my kids can have a great summer if my plans fail?” “Do I believe them having a great summer is my biggest job as a mom?” “Do I think that I am the source of good in my kids life?”
TRUTH: The truth is that our plans change. Only God doesn’t change and using this as an opportunity to point myself and them to one who never changes, whose plans are always executed is the greatest good. My kids can have a great summer without a trip! Ultimately redeeming my moments for the glory of God is my greatest job as a mom. Finally, while I do bring many good moments into my children’s life only God is good. Only His motivations are pure. Only He knows how to satisfy the desires of their hearts which are different than mine.
2. We change
SITUATION: We made it to Colorado. In one piece, on time and I had a bulletproof packing, cleaning, and prep schedule posted the week leading up to the trip. We get here and I had my list of places to go, things to see, people to visit and books to read. 2 of my kids didn’t adjust well to the altitude for the first few days, then others were under the weather and wouldn’t you know it… I got sick. ME! THE MOM! The last 2 days I have been home sleeping and recovering, praying I will turn a corner and can get out.
RESPONSE: This is what the Lord had for me. He knew this was going to happen, it is no surprise to Him. Earlier in the week, I mentioned to Gavin that I wanted to spend time with one of our kids, and wouldn’t you know… we are home together today just the 2 of us. That is a good gift. Gavin has been able to spend time with his mom just the 2 of them and the kids. Papa was able to take 2 of the kids out for the day to a Creation Science conference and build their friendship. I have time to blog, read, walk or whatever and now the rubber meets the road for me about using my time well.
TRUTH: When things happen out of what seems like nowhere, I picture it as a red light. It is time to stop and accept the reality of the situation. I can only be faithful to the minutes He brings and it is a gift that so many of my plans do come together as easily so often. These changes challenge my thinking about who really is in control, what my motivations are and who really knows what’s best for me.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
Psalm 46:10
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
3. I Can Be Faithful
SITUATION: People are sick, plans are changing, expectations aren’t being met. We are having a great time! We are so happy to be here, happy to be with people we care about, so thankful that it all worked out. Moreover, I am still the mom, Gavin is still the dad and we are the primary shepherds in our kids lives. Every moment belongs to the Lord and my responsibilities don’t change just because we are on a trip.
RESPONSE: God still knows the thoughts and intentions of my heart. He still is watching over me. The daily disciplines of reading God’s word, training them diligently teaching them the truth and pointing them to Christ are still my priority. Modeling joy and disappointment in a godly way, reminding them to cast their cares on the Lord. Using the surrounding area and nature to point them to God differently than at home, incredible rocks and mountains, dark skies FULL of stars. Reminding them who brings healing and makes the sick well again. Reading the Bible to the kids and training their hearts to worship God are still part of my job that don’t get a break just because we are on vacation.
TRUTH: God’s Word teaches my heart wherever I go, it is THE light to my path and a lamp to my feet. I say that, but in practice do I model that? All my ways are known to Him already, it all belongs to him and the more that I can purpose to serve Him in the morning before the day begins, might he receive what is already due to his name. It is only because of Christ and the Holy Spirit in me that I can do this. Only because of Christ am I able to continue down this wandering road. God is good ALL the time, even when I can’t see it.
Psalm 139:1-4
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
Our trip has a few days left and I am anticipating a few adventures and of course some surprises along the way. With God’s help the highs will be high and the lows won’t be so low that He can’t reach us and bring us back to solid ground.
